Wednesday, August 11, 2010

3 SHITTY COMICS THAT PISSED ME OFF

I've been reading Comic Books for roughly 25+ years. That's a lot of comics. And during that time I've ready my fair share of truly crappy comics (the 90s were tough). Occassionaly I'll read a comic that is so bad, it actually pisses me off; for the time wasted... the money wasted... and on principle itself. Those moments are few and far between especially lately as the rising cost of Comics ($4!!!) forces me to choose wisely in my limited purchases.

However, I've had the misfortune of reading THREE shit-tastic issues in the last 30 days. Upon reading AVENGERS #2, WONDER WOMAN #601 and SUPERMAN #701, I found myself in an immediate foul mood, crumpling up said comics and tossing them into the trash can. Avengers was a simple mess, treading water in awkward "Bendis Speak" and amateurish storytelling. Wonder Woman is now a crappy "Elseworlds" that feels like Witchblade fan fiction fail. And Superman... where to fucking begin....

[begin fanboy rant]
The next year looks to be Superman walking the country (USA) ala Forrest Gump (not making this up) talking to yokels and preaching the gospel word of Straczynksi. For one, Clark Kent grew up in Smallville, Kansas AND is a top-notch reporter for one of the country's biggest newspaper... I don't think he needs to walk the streets to understand how "Middle America" is or what "real people are like". As Superman, he encounters people every single day, on a global level. He's SUPERMAN, so he does take the time to interact with the people he's around - not just save day, fly off to JLA headquarters. Its one of the aspects that sets him apart from other heroes and makes him SUPERMAN. And secondly, in this one issue, Superman behaves like a dick, a preacher and a careless meta without concern or awareness of the consequences of his actions. I wonder if JMS has ever read a Superman book before... or watched a Superman movie/cartoon? Based on this issue, I would hazard a guess of "NO." Seriously, this book fucking pisssssed me offfff in its shitty storytelling and lack of respect for the character.
[end fanboy rant]

It's really my own fault - what did I expect from a BENDIS TEAM BOOK and ANY BOOK BY J.M. STRACZYNSKI? Make no mistake, all 3 books have been DROPPED. And I am DONE with both writers. Enough is enough already. I'm tired of giving these writers chances they do not deserve. I truly dislike their current work... sure, they both had some gems in the past, but that was a long time ago (much like George Lucas). For those who DO enjoy their writing and the above mentioned books - enjoy! To each his own. But this fanboy is out.

6 comments:

Scott King said...

This is why I read JimSmash... for the SMASHINGS!!!

Jim said...

I always thought you disliked my smashings... cause they were too negative and the voice of a babyman?

or were you being sarcastic?

Blast!!
:)

Scott King said...

I find them entertaining cause it's stuff I'd normally shrug at. The difference here is normally when you rant about anything (ohhh how I miss the AVP hybrid days) is that you actually back them up with a reason. Most fanboys just bitch and complain so it's always been nice seeing your thought process.

Plus from a branding standpoint it's jimSMASH you wouldn't be use without the smashings.

Chris said...

I'm with you on Bendis. The last Avengers book of his I read was the latest Avengers #1, and I didn't even get through it. That was after trying again after I'd dropped him some time before.

I picked up that WW book but haven't read it yet. The Superman book I read and scratched my head a little, and bought the next one today just to be sure. If it doesn't wow me, I'll be dropping it too.

Anonymous said...

Right on! *HIGH FIVE*

I didn't even read the article you wrote because I knew I'd like it anyways because those books sucked.

Frank Gillespie said...

What's amazing to me is that Superman has been absent for over a year in all of the titles and the first thing that they do is, as you've said, make him Kal-gump... sheesh. You're also dead on target about Straczynksi not having a clue on how to write Superman. Byrne took some heat back in the eighties for making Clark more human and the one with the secret identity instead of Superman. Straczynksi, instead of maybe returning to a more Byrne type Clark, makes this Clark or Kal El or whoever he is, a foreigner in the country and on the planet he grew up on and loves. As the kids say: epic fail.

Not only is Bendis writing bad... who the heck thought that JRJr was the right artist for this title? I love JRJr's art but he is so stylized that he has to be matched up to a the right character for his work to not be a distraction?